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lyrics

I'd like to thank Jess and Elion and Erin for putting on this event, I think that was great. I'd like to thank all the performers for performing, for being amazing even if I couldn't be in the room for them. and I would also like to thank simon bolley who's yet to perform, I am very excited for their performance. um. yeah it's- it's- it's hard for me to come to events like these. I think they're great events to have I just find it hard to come to them. And it's not like my fear of existing publicly, that just makes it hard to leave the house, like this is beyond that, I'm not sure it's fear. I don't know what to call it. I'm like frustrated with all my friends constantly, I can barely talk to them sometimes, and they're my friends. When I have to interact with people I don't know it's just too much. It's not that I'm shy, I can do it, I can make friends, I can hold a conversation, I just don't really want to. I don't wanna get to know all that many more people than I do now because in the queer community we seemingly take being intimate with someone to mean we can rely on them for care and we can outsource our needs onto them and they have to take it because dammit our feelings are valid. We're manipulative. We don't mean to be, and we can justify it, but we're manipulative. And we're manipulated too, sure, but we mostly just use that as another excuse to forgive our own behaviour. And I don't know what we can do about that. What we need is infrastructure and actual healthcare and flexibility in our work and income support and professional carers, but we haven't got that, we've only got our friends.

this is our last song, please don't talk to me after the show.

credits

from live at queerspace, released March 25, 2019

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7 Hour Darkness Invasion London, UK

sad tgirl from london/chicago living in york

Check out 7hdi-demos.bandcamp.com for demos!

c/w: there's a lot of shit about blood/trans stuff/suicide/alcoholism in all my albums

header is a comment from pornhub user "ilovecollegegirls" on an fpov vid
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