1. |
vaguely authentic
01:26
|
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bought you a record even though you didn't have a record player
guess i kinda missed the point on that one
showed you a comic i liked
and we read it side by side
on the inflatable bed i replaced my regular bed with so we could have more space
remember making out in my room
while my parents weren't in
listening to El Ten Eleven
i haven't put that album on in years
i hear your voice in every song off So Much For The Afterglow
i find your face in all the Pollock pieces you showed me
i'm right back to cuddling on the couch with every Studio Ghibli film i see
oh god i can hear your heart beating
|
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2. |
happy new years
02:02
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[remember kids: it's not punk to talk to cops, it's not punk to vote for tories, and it's not punk to do cocaine]
i don't drink anything
except sparkling water and peppermint tea
so when i'm screaming in your living room
it's not the alcohol or caffeine
it's just me
"what is art?"
i think to myself as i piss in amy's toilet
"and why do i sing along to every song that comes on"
even when I'm alone
even when it's something that I don't know
i just get this feeling in my bones
and i gotta put on a show
pat the bunny said
"if you're not dancing then you might as well be dead"
and that's ableist and untrue
but it describes my attitude
so if you wanna take my hand
I'll show you what it means
to do more than consume art
to make it a part of who you are
look around look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now
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3. |
fuck the scene
02:47
|
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another late night
another fucking guy
very cis
very straight
i'm feeling very in the way
standing at the front
cause i want to be involved
cause gigs are supposed to be fun
you know
but i feel i'm too judgemental
or maybe these emo bands do all sound the same
just drunk children singing 'bout nothing
shrouded in metaphor so they seem like something worth discussing
i might go home
i always go home
i can't remember the last time i stayed until the end of a show
but what would i listen to when i got back
half the bands i loved are lead by abusers
maybe i could watch a movie instead
that's a joke
i'm just too scared to care
about any artist that i don't personally know anymore
still got brand new lyrics bouncing around my head
i've grown up listening to abuse men
whine about how empty they feel
so forgive if i'm dismissive
about the similar kind of thing that's playing tonight
that's playing every night
that everyone i know seems to actually fucking like
give up hope
fuck the scene
stay at home
fuck the scene
fight the future
fuck the scene
worship no one
fuck the scene
don't pay entry
fuck the scene
heckle constantly
fuck the scene
burn the place down
fuck the scene
kill your heroes
fuck the scene
|
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4. |
||||
i'm tired
it's in my blood
and i'm starting to doubt whether i'll make it home
this coat's not waterproof
headphones broke again
so i'm listening to the wind and the rain and the traffic
thinking about the things i said
trying to console a friend
wishing that i knew how to be supportive
just wanna take my wet clothes off
and get back to bed
but i mean it's not like i ever really rest
cause when i try to go to sleep
i hear people speak to me
i hear drums beat
distant screams
it's a cacophony
and in my dreams
i get deadnamed by my friends
and i try and fail to save my ex again and again
i'm tired
you could say i'm fatigued
is it a symptom of some disease
or is it just me?
got this internalised fear of disability
i'm acting like it's no different from dying
i don't know how to express this anxiety
i'm not even sure that i should try
is this my place to speak?
is this song worth anything?
is this art or am i just spiralling?
my face hurts
i'm still not back
i hate this place
but i'm fucking trapped
would move to the states
but i can't get insurance
the wife and i would die so goddamn fast
so i'm stuck here
where it's not much better
got the tories in power
and this dreadful weather
i'm soaked to the bone
i'm shivering like fuck
i'm tired
it's in my blood
oh no
we're falling down a hole
oh no
we're falling down a hole
oh no
we're falling down a hole
oh no
we're falling down a hole
we're getting to the last of this
teenage angst
emo bullshit
i hope this is the last of this
emotionally jackin it
have you learned anything?
did you sing along?
has it been worth the listening?
is this noise better than nothing at all?
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7 Hour Darkness Invasion London, UK
sad tgirl from london/chicago living in york
Check out 7hdi-demos.bandcamp.com for
demos!
c/w: there's a lot of shit about blood/trans stuff/suicide/alcoholism in all my albums
header is a comment from pornhub user "ilovecollegegirls" on an fpov vid
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